A Tribute to My Late Grandparents

Today is my late grandma Edith’s birthday.  About 4 years ago, I wrote this tribute to my grandparents.  I know that the grammar and punctuation may not be perfect.  It was actually my first attempt at submitting an article.  I wrote it, but never submitted it to any publication.  I was not very confident about my writing back then.

Here’s the piece I wrote about my late grandparents to honor my late grandma’s birthday today.  She would have been 81.

Here’s the piece:

I am starting to feel the finality of having no living grandparents remaining. It has been such a hard thing to come to terms with. I still want to get on the phone when I am excited about something. I pick up the phone and am about to dial their number. I am age 33, so I am an adult, but why is that I cannot imagine a life without my grandparents in it?

My maternal grandpa, also known as “Pa” passed away on Christmas of 2004. I couldn’t believe he was gone. I was very sad, but happy that he was able to move onto the Other Side, given his long ordeal of suffering with emphysema and several other health issues. He went quietly in the night at the hospital after everyone had left.

My maternal grandma passed away in April 2001 after a long battle with colon and bladder cancer. I remember the doctors saying she only had a few months to live, but she lived another year! She was a determined fighter and she is one of my biggest heroines.

I never knew my paternal grandma. My paternal grandpa died a few years ago as well. I hadn’t seen him in many years as he lived out of state. I still feel badly about this. My own maternal grandma kept in touch with him and was able to facilitate a reunion between him and my biological father before my paternal grandpa died.

I also had two step-grandparents, if you will that were my step-dad’s parents. They both passed away many years ago, but I still think of them as my grandparents as well.

My maternal grandparents always lived no further than across the street when I was growing up. For a long time, they lived in the same house with us. It just broke my heart when they bought a winter home in Florida. I felt so hurt and I missed them terribly. My grandma decided they needed to sell the place though because she said, “Florida has too many old people!” Plus, she missed her family.

Shortly after my mom remarried, my grandparents moved out of our house to give my mom and her new husband space. This just broke my heart too. They moved almost two hours away. I made every effort to go visit them in high school. It was harder to do in college because I was very busy working and going to school and I lived on campus without a car.

After college, I didn’t get to see my maternal grandparents much. After I graduated, I had a falling out about a year later with my mom and we didn’t speak for five years. We started talking again at a surprise birthday party my mom had for my grandma when she was dying. My grandma was given the biggest gift that year and she ended up living another year so we could all spend Christmas together again as a family. I will never forget the tears of joy my grandma, me, my mom as well as the tears of others in the room affected by the healing. I never felt the need to discuss any past hurts with my mom or relive the past. Everything was just instantaneously healed.

I was there when my grandma died. My husband and I were just about to leave the hospital and were laughing and talking with my mom. All of a sudden, my grandma stopped breathing. You see, my grandma was in the hospital and she was the type of woman who was a strong and fiery Leo (and very Scottish). She refused hospice and had been admitted to the hospital. At the end of the week, she gave up the fight. One of my very psychic friends had an astral visit from my grandma the day of the evening she died. I called up my friend just by chance right after the astral visit. My friend said my grandma was holding out because she wanted me to talk to her. Well, the whole week my grandma had been unconscious most of the time. They gave her a lot of morphine to manage her pain. The day she died I was able to telepathically talk to her in the early evening. I really didn’t want to let her go. The last time I saw her and talked to her when she was fully conscious she was suffering so much that she cried. She had lovingly been on my case to do something with my hair as she used to love the blonde highlights. I went out and had it done and wanted to show her. She touched it and smiled and I will never forget how happy she seemed. I still highlight it to this day.

You see, my grandparents were like my angels in this life. I was lucky to have been raised not only by my mom, but also by them. I learned so much about so many things. My grandpa liked to work on cars and that’s where I received my love for cars and doing work with my hands. He also could fix anything. He was the ultimate provider and family man. When it came time for me to date, I always looked for men that were like my grandpa. My grandma and I were very close. There was my brother and three other grandchildren and she loved us all the same. My grandma had suffered the loss of her only son when he was 40 and died of cancer. She never recovered from this. My grandma taught me so many things: how to cook, bake, crochet, etc. She and I also both took organ lessons together. Because of her, I have this amazing love for all types of music. Music would always fill her house whether it was her singing, listening to records or one of us playing the organ. She and I used to dance to music when I was growing up. I will hear a song on the radio and instantly thing of her. To this day, this is how she communicates with me to let me know she’s saying hello.

I just remember being completely and totally loved by these angelic souls who were my grandparents. When I was little, I remember scuffing my knees or hurting myself and they could always make it feel better. I remember whenever I had a problem; my grandma could always help me to feel better. She used to say, “Everything is going to be fine. It will turn out, you’ll see.” And you know something, she was right! It always turned out just fine! I thought she was a magician. She did have a magic purse though. Whenever I needed a piece of gum, kleenex, or mint she had one for me. To this day, I see a pack of Wrigley’s Spearmint gum and think of her. Once in a great while, I will pick up a pack and sit and “chew” on things. My grandma had infinite patience for me. She rarely ever raised her voice at me and always laughed at my antics. She let me be me. This was such a gift.

However, the greatest give I ever received was love from my grandparents. They taught me about unconditional love. They were the types of rare people who dedicate their lives to helping others. They didn’t die with much because they had given it all away. Whenever someone needed some money or help, even if it was not immediate family or a friend, they would help people. I remember once I couldn’t register for my college classes because I hadn’t received my financial aid check. The next day a check came in the mail from my grandparents. I never asked them for money, but they still sent it. I just wish that I could have repaid them, not just financially, but with as much kindness and love as they gave me. I remember calling my grandma on the phone and she would always make up some excuse as to why she had to get off the phone and that she’d call me right back. Well, of course, it was so that I didn’t have to pay for the call. It was these little acts of kindness that I will never forget. But, the love is what is still with me.

I used to really yearn to have my grandparents back in my life. The pain of being separated from them has often been too much to bear. But, what I realized is that love is eternal. I can go to that place where I felt so encompassed by their love and just soak it up whenever I need to do so. I just remember the times I visited my grandparents’ house as an adult and feeling so loved. Right as I walked into the door, I would be greeted with big bear hugs. You know the type that you almost can’t breathe? It didn’t matter what my grandma was doing she’d drop it all in order to hug us so tightly and greet us. She would have a hot meal in progress for us as well with everything you would ever have wanted. And, say you didn’t eat meat, she would make you a vegetarian meal! She went out of her way to do things for you.

To me, it’s not so much about the thing my grandparents did for me. It’s more about how they made me feel. I felt like I was very special and loved. I felt important and a part of a big, loving family. There were times even as an adult that my grandma would hold my hand and I just felt so safe and protected with the hope that everything was or would be well in the world. I remember her telling me to shine brightly. Whenever I felt unsure about myself, she would say the saying that goes something like: “Reach for the moon. Even if you fall short, you might land upon a star.” She was always encouraging me. It was like having my own private cheerleader. I felt so supported and loved.

For a long time, I have been unconsciously searching for this type of love that is my grandparents’ legacy. I haven’t found it I must say. I have been working on processing my grief for a long time. It hasn’t been easy, but I have learned many things about love. I have a very loving husband and all, but there’s not always that unconditional part of the love. This is because things are more complicated I realize in a marriage relationship rather than with your grandparents. I am like a pilgrim on a quest. I felt like I left no stone unturned, but then, one day I realized that love is eternal and I can connect to it at any time. I also realized that my grandparents are within me. They are partly responsible for the woman I am today. I am eternally grateful that I learned how to love from them. I guess the part I really had to work on was the receiving part. You see, my grandparents never wanted anything in return from anyone. They did all of these selfless acts of love and always refused anyone’s repayment or gifts. So, I realized I had inherited this tendency to push away receiving good from the Universe. I am working on being more open and receptive to receiving love. Then, maybe one day I will discover the same kind of love that my grandparents gave me.

I really miss my grandparents and I hope they are enjoying themselves on the Other Side as they truly deserve to be happy, healthy, and pain free. My grandma never was able to meet my new nephew who was born last June, but I know she must be with him from time to time to check up on him and pinch his cheeks. I feel badly that my grandma never saw my house before she died as I had just moved here. I wish she were here now because I would treat her like a queen. I would take her to the spa for a day of pampering and cook her dinner and show her the newest crochet skill I learned. We would play the organ and laugh together for hours about fun things. We would drink tea and dance. We would have our slumber parties like we used to do. My grandma always had friends of all ages and younger people always confided in her. That’s where I get my youthfulness from and my Inner Child is such an Outer Child.

My grandparents were so kind and loving that the only conclusion I can make is they were both Earth Angels. They were always in the right place at the right time to help people, even strangers and stray animals benefited from their kindness. I just hope that I can live my life as well as they lived theirs. I just hope I can be such a shining beacon of hope and unconditional love as they were. I don’t know how well I am doing with this, but I just try every day to be kind as they were to others. I feel I can’t do justice to their lives here via the written word. I feel the best way to honor them is to embody the ideals they taught me: love for family and friends, helping your fellow man (or animal), giving comfort and hope to those who need it, and spreading laughter, joy, and small miracles as much as possible.

Isn’t it amazing about grandparents? They are truly special aren’t they? Even if they are not with us physically, they are always within us. They are always sending us love even from the Other Side. I knew my grandma was with me recently when my one friend was talking about her niece calling my friend’s mom “Donnie” instead of grandma. I was astounded because this is what I used to call my grandma, as I never could pronounce “grandma” growing up so the name stuck! This was just before Christmas before my grandpa died. I cried so much because I was happy that she was saying hello to me. Talk about a sign! See, the signs are everywhere, we just have to notice.

Sending love to all that read this and many big bear hugs! If you are lucky enough to have your grandparent alive, please give them one of these big bear hugs…Well, even if they are on the Other Side, give them hugs! Love is meant to share. Love is being embraced and appreciated for your own uniqueness. Because of love, we’re able to move on with strength knowing that we have all the help and support we need.

Love is eternal.

With Love and Light,

Lisa 2004